Interviewer: Alright, Mr. Wilson, you've done just fine on the Rorshact.. your papers are in good order.. your file's fine.. no difficulties with your motor skills.. And I think you're probably ready for this job. We've got one more psychological test we always do here. It's just a Word Association. I'll throw you out a few words - anything that comes to your mind, just throw back at me, okay? It's kind of an arbitrary thing. Like, if I say "dog", you'd say..?
Mr. Wilson: "Tree".
Interviewer: "Tree". [ nods head, prepares the test papers ] "Dog".
Mr. Wilson: "Tree".
Interviewer: "Fast".
Mr. Wilson: "Slow".
Interviewer: "Rain".
Mr. Wilson: "Snow".
Interviewer: "White".
Mr. Wilson: "Black".
Interviewer: "Bean".
Mr. Wilson: "Pod".
Interviewer: [ casually ] "Negro".
Mr. Wilson: "Whitey".
Interviewer: "Tarbaby".
Mr. Wilson: [ silent, sure he didn't hear what he thinks he heard ] What'd you say?
Interviewer: [ repeating ] "Tarbaby".
Mr. Wilson: "Ofay".
Interviewer: "Colored".
Mr. Wilson: "Redneck".
Interviewer: "Junglebunny".
Mr. Wilson: [ starting to get angry ] "Peckerwood!"
Interviewer: "Burrhead".
Mr. Wilson: [ defensive ] "Cracker!"
Interviewer: [ aggressive ] "Spearchucker".
Mr. Wilson: "White trash!"
Interviewer: "Jungle Bunny!"
Mr. Wilson: [ upset ] "Honky!"
Interviewer: "Spade!
Mr. Wilson: [ really upset ] "Honky Honky!"
Interviewer: [ relentless ] "Nigger!"
Mr. Wilson: [ immediate ] "Dead honky!" [ face starts to flinch ]
Interviewer: [ quickly wraps the interview up ] Okay, Mr. Wilson, I think you're qualified for this job. How about a starting salary of $5,000?
Mr. Wilson: Your momma!
Interviewer: [ fumbling ] Uh.. $7,500 a year?
Mr. Wilson: Your grandmomma!
Interviewer: [ desperate ] $15,000, Mr. Wilson. You'll be the highest paid janitor in America. Just, don't.. don't hurt me, please..
Mr. Wilson: Okay.
Interviewer: [ relieved ] Okay.
Mr. Wilson: You want me to start now?
Interviewer: Oh, no, no.. that's alright. I'll clean all this up. Take a couple of weeks off, you look tired.
transcript
4 comments:
you had me and my boy laughing out loud. thanks.
That was one of my favorite moments from the old SNL. Thanks for the much-need laugh!
oh man. I don't even know what to say.
You have such a great blog.
*blush*
thank you
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