Wednesday, April 27, 2005

bahais and divorce

cole
The following piece is from Juan Cole, who was formerly a member of the Bahai faith but left because of differences of opinion with the Bahai administration.

An internal Baha'i household survey done in 1987 found that the divorce rate in the U.S. Baha'i community was higher than that in American society as a whole. The report was never released to the public.

My own suspicion is that the high divorce rate has several causes. First of all, Baha'is are encouraged to utopian ways of thinking. Two young people with little in common save that they are recent converts to the faith will be encouraged to marry. I have seen this sort of thing over and over again with my own eyes. This utopianism is widespread in the faith and is the same reason for which so many other Baha'i enterprises end up doing damage to people. That both are "Baha'is" is not a basis for a marriage. One may be a liberal and the other a fundamentalist; current norms against such labeling make it difficult for people to identify one another on that basis, but you'd better believe the difference would show up in a marriage!

Young married Baha'is are also encouraged to pioneer, whether abroad to places like Haiti and Nicaragua, or homefront. Being uprooted from their social networks and families and isolated in a strange environment is not good for them as young marrieds.

In smaller communities the Baha'i committee work is a killer, and may isolate the two spouses, who spend less time together just coccooning and watching t.v.

And it is my estimate that from a third to a half of U.S. Baha'is are what the sociologists would call marginal people--persons with poor social skills who are emotionally needy and who join the faith because they are love-bombed and find a high proportion of other marginals in it. A high rate of marginality is fostered by the cultists who have infiltrated the administration, since only such individuals would put up with being ordered around summarily or would eat up conspiracy theories about bands of dissidents seeking to undermine the administration. Marginals would have higher than normal divorce rates, obviously.

Finally, the Baha'i faith encourages a great deal of ego inflation in the individual. Each Baha'i thinks he or she is saving the world and is a linchpin in the plan of God. This inspires in them great (and often quite misplaced) confidence in their own judgment--I've seen them pronounce authoritatively on astronomy, biology, Qajar history, and many other subjects on which they are woefully ignorant. Such ego inflation and over-confidence in personal judgment would not be good for a marriage. cheers Juan

[P.S. I should have also included that the exclusiveness of the Baha'i community, non-attendance of non-Baha'is at Feast, pressure to convert spouses, etc., was also probably a contributing factor to Baha'i divorces where only one spouse was Baha'i.



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3 comments:

Baquia said...

...who was formerly a member of the Bahai faith but left because of differences of opinion with the Bahai administration.

Just to clarify, Juan is a Baha'i (in that he believes in Baha'u'llah). But I'm not sure if he's enrolled (just as many who see themselves as Baha'is but haven't formally signed). As you do point out there was a bit of ugliness a few years ago. I'm sure he'd be able to sort it all out for you if you'd email him.

Abdul-Halim V. said...

I'm not sure what is the language which will satisfy everyone. I'm not a Bahai so from a certain perspective, the question of who is and isn't a Bahai isn't something that I really have alot of stake in.

From one perspective I would be happy to say that anyone who self-identifies as "believing in Bahaullah" (whatever that means) is a Bahai.

But the largest group of Bahais, the "Haifan Bahais", definitely have a narrower view.

But it was actually my understanding that Juan Cole respected the narrower definition and would himself say that he "believes in Bahaullah" but is not a Bahai, because he doesn't satisfy the administrative requirements for membership.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Cole neglects another factor in a fairly high divorce rate among U.S. Baha'is - many of these people are from an Iranian background, and are refugees from religious persecution in their home country. Refugees, and others subject to high stress, naturally have a higher rate than persons not subject to this sort of thing. In fact this alone could have caused all or most of the "higher rate of divorce" (we are not told how much higher, and the divorce statistic ws not broken down by national origin). But then this doesn't suit Mr. Cole's peculiar agenda.